Rob sits down with longtime softball coach Suzanne Unruh to unpack how coaching has changed over the past decade—and why today’s athletes require a different kind of leadership. Suze shares how she evolved from a win-driven, blunt young coach to a purpose-focused mentor, emphasizing emotional intelligence, individualized coaching, and building identity beyond the game.
The conversation highlights how showcase culture has impacted competitiveness, the importance of connection off the field, and why faith and relational trust have become central to her coaching philosophy. For anyone leading this generation—on the field or beyond—it’s a timely, honest look at what it takes to coach well today.
Key Themes:
- Coaching evolution: Suze reflects on how her approach has shifted from winning at all costs to leading with purpose, patience, and trust.
- Showcase culture and shifting motivation: Today’s athletes often come from environments where exposure matters more than winning. Coaches must reframe the meaning of competition and team success.
- Individualized leadership: Modern athletes expect relational coaching. Knowing how each athlete wants to be coached is key to earning buy-in.
- Mental health and emotional awareness: Athletes today are more open about emotions. Coaches need emotional discipline and active presence, especially in high-pressure moments.
- Rebuilding identity: When athletes don’t get the role they want, identity can crack. Coaches play a central role in helping athletes understand their value beyond the lineup.
- Relational trust: Off-field connection strengthens on-field performance. Suze shares practical ways she invests in athletes as whole people.
- Faith and long-term impact: Suze views coaching as ministry and mentorship—emphasizing purpose, relationships, and post-college connection as her deepest success markers.
Notable Moments:
01:10 – Suze on early coaching: “I was good, so I thought I’d just make them good”
03:20 – Becoming a head coach at age 22, unexpectedly
07:55 – Mistakes made early on—blunt honesty without relational context
12:40 – Comparing JUCO and four-year athletes: mindset, priorities, and approach
16:13 – The showcase era and its impact on competitiveness and team dynamics
18:20 – Athletes say they love competition—but do they mean it?
20:14 – The rise of emotional transparency in today’s athlete
22:30 – How Suze keeps the bottom 10 on the roster valued and engaged
24:00 – Building identity outside the game to prepare for post-athletic life
27:42 – The cost of showing visible stress on the field
29:10 – What Suze wants it to feel like to be coached by her
32:45 – A coaching failure that almost made her quit—and what pulled her back
36:00 – Rapid fire: books, mistakes, success, and favorite coaches
Books mentioned: Tony Dungy’s leadership books, Pat Summitt’s coaching philosophy
Practical Takeaways:
- Rebuild the team-first mindset. In the showcase era, many athletes arrive focused on visibility, not competition. Reframe the value of team success and shared goals.
- Coach the individual. Modern athletes need coaching tailored to how they receive feedback. One-size-fits-all approaches don’t work.
- Establish identity beyond the sport. When roles change or playing time decreases, identity gaps can become emotional gaps. Use relationship to fill them.
- Manage your presence. Your emotional regulation sets the tone. Athletes quickly absorb your body language and energy.
- Value the whole roster. The culture often depends more on how the “non-stars” are treated than how the stars perform.
- Lead with relationship. Know their story. Trust and influence grow when athletes feel seen beyond the field.
- Keep faith at the center (if it aligns with your context). For Suze, purpose flows from faith—and that purpose informs how she coaches, leads, and supports her athletes long-term.
Notable Quotes:
Suzanne Unruh
“They need to know I know how they want to be coached—and how not to coach them.”
“Being told you’re appreciated and you have a purpose is one of the most important things an athlete needs today.”
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